And so I embark on what I hope is my final jaunt into the world of dieting and self improvement. I have like many girls in the chubs category tried every diet under the sun and whilst some have been better than others and with a variable success rate I know in my heart of hearts healthy eating and exercise are they only way forward. (boo, hiss.......we all want crisps!). As the post title suggests, this is forever so it needs to be vaguely fun!
Now to start things off I will say what type of diet I’m going to follow but first can I say it’s called a ‘diet’ not eating plan. I don’t have any truck with that baloney that using the word ‘diet’ makes us lardies feel restricted and rebellious and hence causing us to cheat.....it’s a word like ‘fat’ let’s embrace them and use them as ours and not make the words our enemy. (too deep too early? Yuk!)
So back to the diet - In a word.....low carb! Not Atkins, there’s no overdosing on half cow’s, parmesan wheels and double cream it’s just reducing my intake of processed carbohydrates and sticking to the good ones, brown rice for example.
I have a bit of a gluten intolerance, nothing that makes me get comedy fat face allergies just a wee one so I cut out bread and pasta and I lost a few pounds and having cut out all carbs before I know that I lose weight but it’s not sustainable with one’s lifestyle. You know...friends, dinner out, beer, well in fact ALL alcohol so I thought. ‘how about cut carbs when I’m making the choices, the everyday diet and then when I’m out not worry about it.’ I think this is the healthiest way of doing things, emotionally more than anything else as I know only too well that my social life is a killer to diets as I get the guilt, it spirals and I flip out (issues anyone!?). Anyhoo...I’d rather be fat than bored, at home with lettuce and dust!
So its lean meat, fish, veggies, fruits (within reason, I love fruit and I know about the sugar but a blueberry is NOT why I’m fat!) and low fat dairy. It’s pretty simple really and my main plan is proper cooking, from scratch, none of this convenience malarkey and no ‘oh I’ll just have toast and a vat of vino tint for dinner’.
So we broach the thorny topic of exercise. Urgh, the hateful brute! You know I don’t hate exercise I hate sweating.....oh sweet Jesus I hate it. I arrive at the gym, I go bright red walking through the door, I sit on the bike, plug my headphones in, I’m sweating....I’ve not even put my bright white (read : new/unused) trainered foot on the pedal and I’ve got a roast on! FFS!! This is actually because my gym has a major aversion to air con, the fecking morons! (and I pay to go!). So baring this in mind I’m putting my distaste aside and I’m going to MAKE myself go every day. Obviously if I’m out with the bitches for the eve the gym can go F itself but like the diet. I’ll do it more than not.
Weekends are a different matter. Gyms are soul devouring at the best of times and I refuse to spend my S-days there so the plan involves a little dude that loves, nay relishes a long walk and that’s what I’ll be doing. The little dude is called Oliver and he belongs to the parentals and I plan to dognap him....he LOVES it! There’s plenty of walks round Bumpkin shire where I live so I’m going exploring!
So this is it.............I think I’ve stumbled upon a winning formula (fingers, toes, arms, legs, eyes crossed and all that). I plan to enjoy this process as much as I can, it’s the 80/20 format.....80% on it, 20% FUN TIMES and I think this is the sustainable and long-term way to go.
Day 2....5lbs down! HELL YEAH! (I won’t be doing that every post....just once a week)
Anon Pickles xx
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