Oh PMA works!!!

I did it...I lost 2lbs making it 8lb in total and that’s a lovely shiny half a stone lost!

Now.......I'm away in the frozen north this weekend on a hen weekend, which as we all know involves muchos booze and frivolity BUT considering the current weather patterns destroying our country I'm pretty sure I'll shiver off any extra calories. Still...if not I'll not beat myself up about, I'll put it down to a life lived properly! Hurrah.

Well........short post but my fingers are about to snap off in frozen agony!

Till next time pickles

xx

The Story of ‘Staying the Same’

The morale of today’s tale is ....try as you might ye shall fail (sometimes) BUT do not give up! Check me out...how positive but I can assure you this is NOT how I felt last night after week 3’s weigh in....the main reaction was ‘BUMS’!

So after a week of pretty much by the book dieting the grand result was.....nothing not a tiny ounce was lost. Yes, yes I know, nothing gained either but what a bloody ball ache. I was abstemious not a drop of alcohol passed my lips, food wise it was all angelic BUT and I’m going to whisper this...I didn’t make it to the gym once but we did do very vigorous shopping, well wandering around Blue Water!

The dreadful truth is dawning....if I want to shift four tonnes of lard I am going to having to get my groove on at the gym. This makes me want to cry a thousand tears and hid in a cupboard but I’m going to have to get a bloomin grip and bite the bullet.

There is a lady in my FC class who has lost 7 STONE in about 18 months...how insane is that and she did it with the addition of exercise so what more of an inspiration do I need...she’s right there in front of my eyes.

Maybe I need to picture her (not in a weird, creepy, stalky kind of way of course!) when I start to talk myself out of the gym. She said last night never in her wildest dreams would she have ever thought she’d have lost 7 stone and that’s sort of how I feel...I can’t even imagine it at the moment...it’s the mental equivalent of climbing Kilimanjaro but she has an answer for that....break it down into half stones, that’s 7lbs, I have 1lb to go for my first 7lbs so I will try and do that for next weigh in and then so on and on and on.......!

Last night I was totally in the buggerations mood, today though...I feel ok. The 7lbs thing has sorta struck a chord.

Well onwards and downwards Pickles xx

Week 2 - A Bit Meh!

Week 2 – 1lbs loss

The problemo is I wasn’t that thrilled with this. I know I know better off than on but I have 84 of them to lose and I’d like to lose most of them before the beginning of June, that’s in 26 weeks! To lose that much I need to average 3.2lbs a week and knowing my losing history that ain’t gonna happen peeps.

Ok, ok so I totally just flipped about the amount and the timescale and I think I need to readdress this SO.....what if I halve it. 26 weeks to lose 42lbs. That would be an average weight loss of 1.6lbs a week.....far more doable I think.

So 42 lbs that’s 3 three stone. That’s a lot, a vey lot and I would look 5000% times better in the bridesmaid dress, I’d feel great (obviously not as great as if I’d got my groove on earlier and then maybe I could be further down the journey but bygones!) and I realise half the battle of weight loss is the feeling you get when you achieve what you want.

Now I know that the first weeks loss will always be big...all about diet change and water loss (sciencey bits) etc. I had a very similar week to the first one, with the exception of a Saturday night out on the tiles, where I was practically angelic! I don’t think I’ve ever gone out and had three G & T’s the whole night in my life and the T’s were slim line at that. I was really conscious of not drinking too much, I actually achieved something I set out to do, space out the booze with water. I actually did it and the world did not collapse, I didn’t spontaneously combust from gin withdrawal, it was all ok. AND no hangover....praise be too little baby cheeses. So on the next drinking occasion I shall think along these lines and attempt the strategy and see how I fare....Ah wait, the next drinking occasion is a hen weekend.....MAYBE NOT!

I think that week one loss was mostly water and this week it’s actual fat....this is a good thing, this is how I need to look at it.

There is of course the elephant in the room............EXERCISE. Seriously, as the worlds laziest bint I really need to sort this out. Does walking round and round an enormous shopping centre on sat count as exercise?? That is totally the kind of exercise I can get on board with but I fear not. God damn it!

I will I will I will address this peeps.........I WILL!

Anyhoo....38 days to Christmas, I’ve hugely over-excited already...such a Christmas pusher!

And on that really annoying note....anon until next time Pickles x

The 1st Result

So week 1 back at fat club and it was a success. 5lbs off......45 gazillion to go!

There is something about being on a structured plan that I like, well when I say structured it’s in the loosest sense of the term, i.e. don't eat crap, don’t drink like a fish and generally you should lose. I think as a character I'm quite into routine, I like to know what I'm doing, I like a plan, I like (horror of horrors) a list and the FC diet fits into this category perfectly. There are lists of free food, lists of things to count and I get to write a list of what I plan to cook every day. This serves 3 purposes.

1.      Keeps me on track, what day is what

2.      Makes the weekly shop easy and cheaper (no sneaking in the ‘oh a really fancy that!’ things...unless its nail varnish or a book of course)

3.      Facilitates my need for control (maybe I really should talk to someone about this!?)

I also haven’t exactly stuck to the low carb thing either, I AM A LIAR AND A CHEAT AND NO ONE SHOULD READ THIS! I keep changing my story huh BUT in ones defence I’m trying my damnedest to lose this bloody weight, it’s an ongoing battle and if I find different ways of doing each week I’ll do it. The main point is as long as I lose weight.  I have a sneaking suspicion, garnered from years of dieting that low carbing is actually better for maintaining the loss, still on FC plan low carbing is an option so we shall see....don’t say I didn’t warn you about modification of mind. WAIT...this shouldn’t not compute within my ‘I like a plan’ lifestyle but whatev’s I’m a girl and it’s my prerogative (word up Bobby Brown) to change my mind!

This week is also the first weekend of a consecutive weekend party fest until Christmas. I am determined NOT to upset next week’s loss from one night’s drinking. I will stick to gin and slim-line, space it out with water and eat properly so I don’t get the marmite toast munchies at 2am. Up early(ish) on Sunday to take Oliver for a stroll and blow the alcohol webs away.

Anyway one’s mind set is positive and I hope this is the start of the decline (in weight and not mental health of course!)

Anon for now Picklets! xx

Day 1 (Again)

So last night I rejoined Slimming World...hence forth to be known as fat club or FC

I'm still going to proceed with the lower carb thing and luckily FC has a plan to allow that but mainly I need the structure of the weekly weigh in to get me back in the zone and keep me on track.

This is the first positive thing I've done in weeks (with regards to weight loss of course...I brought a new woolly cardi on Sat, that’s very positive!). As I drove home I felt lighter, less stressy about it and that in itself felt great.

I won't go into to the trauma that was the scales, safe to say I almost cried but I managed to control myself, nothing more unattractive than a chubs weeping, snotty, covered in mascara...ooof! It’s not a pretty picture anyway you look at it so I shall just say...this is the fattest I will ever be and do not intent on being here ever again.

So, when I escape from work, home I go to cook a Quorn chilli and some mushroom soup for lunch and will keep my podgy hand out of the biscuit tin. I HAVE to do this....HAVE to and I will.....8 months until one is a bridesmaid (for the 5^th time....always a bridesmaid...sob sob!) and I plan on not being the fattest member of the wedding party....only saying that, I will but I will be the slimmest fattest member...if you know what I mean! :-)

Anon for now lovelies xx

Still Here But Hiding

I can't write and talk about weight loss as I seem to have a mental block to both.

I've not written a jot since my last post as I think I'm still trying to get what I said right in my mind....what a massive drama queen...YES but all jokes aside I'm really, really struggling to get this started.

I have decided to start a walking challenge, I found it on the interweb whilst browsing weight loss (no not surgery or speed) and thought it might be a good place to start. It seems relatively innocuous (not too much effort, remember the lazy thing!). Starts off with a few 20min walks and increases as fitness increases.....I think even for the benefit of my mind, being outside for 20mins at least just walking will be valuable.....clear out all the crap from the day.

So I will keep trying to get a grip on myself and I will post properly once I’ve got it!

In the meantime these things are good....listen/read/buy them

Its FREE
The LOVELY Stephen
Joyous
I'm going to see her in Feb!! Woohoo
This WILL make your life better

Anyhoo....anon for now and I'll speak soon
xx

The 'Stakes'

So here’s the thing! I’m feeling an abject failure at my inability to lose weight and it’s not like I’ve only got a stone to lose...try 5. This should be relatively easy right. Sensible eating and exercise should do this. Only it’s not as easy, if it was there wouldn’t any fatties and we wouldn’t be having this discussion.

There is a load of head stuff going on that prevents, nay stops weight loss when it comes to me (actually a lot of overweight people will tell you there’s more going on that simply just eating too much). The only problem I have is that I don’t know what it is...the head stuff I mean.

I had an idyllic childhood, my parents were and still are the best people in the world, they have loved and supported me no matter what, they have never made me feel like I was anything but amazing. I grew up in a happy household, never had too much or too little, a village life that was straight from the pages of Enid Blyton. I had lots of friends, most of which I’m still friends with now...never bullied for being on the porky side, in fact I’ve never knowingly had any negativity towards me because of my weight (of course what said behind ones back....who cares!) but I still have this HUGE issue about weight. It’s painful to admit but it held me back from so much and still does.

I read somewhere that it helps to write down what you want from weight loss (a bit like the mental image from my last post) so I have thought about this for a few days and collected some thoughts together and prepared my ‘stakes’. Some are no brainers, some were more difficult to think about but I have to be honest about it. Writing this down makes it more real as opposed to just my mental thoughts in my head.

So here goes:

·         I want to be happy with photos taken of me. I spend 95% of my time untagging myself from FB photos (vain vain I know!)

·         I want to never worry about chairs with arms & airline belts

·         I would like to be able to put on tights without blacking out from the excursion! (This is pretty comic really, hoping round the bedroom on one leg....trapped!)

·         Three words – KNEE HIGH BOOTS, if only I could find some that fit my massive claves but tiny, tiny feet!

·         Another word  - Jeans. I want to look good in jeans, to be able to buy a pair that suits rather than ‘just fits’

·         I want to be in control of food

·         I want to stop feeling like a FAT person first and ME second in every situation

·         I want to stop walking past a shop window and thinking ‘blimey, hello lardy’ and realising its me – DOOM!

·         I want to improve my health and not to have a heart rate of 120 when all I’ve done is unloaded the washing machine (ok, slight exaggeration!)

·         I want to be confident – Not the fakey confidence I currently hide behind

·         (Arrgh hard one!) I want to start a new relationship. Single for 4 years since I was last slimmer in fact. I have become invisible!

·         Finally I want to stop thinking about being fat and losing weight constantly and kicking myself in the head when I fail!

Ok, so not pretty and I really think this stuff. Hideous....like I said, I have no idea where the self loathing comes from?

Still trying to get back on the diet track, the cold hasn’t helped but I know I REALLY want to do this.

Having dinner with the girls on Saturday eve. Main topic of conversation will be the upcoming wedding for L for whom I’m a bridesmaid. She has just announced her intention of a tone up (lucky cow.....not as if she even needs it! Ha) so I will fall on her mercy and suggest we do something together, I think I need an exercise director and she’s nothing if not pushy that one! The beast!!

Anyway......I have a half day so I’m off. Have a great weekend Pickles and sorry for the lack of funnies here. I just need to get it down.

xx

Normal Service Has Not Returned - YET!

Hey ho peeps

I have come to the conclusion that I started this diet as the world worst time., I have had the busiest 3 weeks where trying to stick to a diet has become increasingly difficult. As I explained in the last post about the booze point I think that things have conspired against me to help me pile those 6 pounds back on! For GODSAKE!

SO......start over time!!

I think really there are two issues in the mix here. One is the wine and one is the gym. One I do too much and one NOT AT ALL.....I am the laziest person I know. Preferring to finish work and if there's nowhere to be I'll be found nestling on the sofa with horsey blanket and Hugh Fernley Whittingstall (more often than not) on the box.

These are the times where I need a swift boot up the posterior in the direction of LA Fitness (Ohh....should I be mentioning corporate companies on here?? Mrs T...what was your conclusion?).

I know the routine. I leave the house with gym stuff in tow, he sits in the car all day willing me to take him out to play and at some point on the journey home I find an excuse not to go. This can range from 'oh the ironing...must finish that off' to 'I'll go see the parentals as I'm a terrible daughter who doesn't see them enough'. Both of which are a massive lies as Sundays are for ironing and parental visits....everyone knows that!

I need to find a cure for my laziness. In the past I have been advised to stick a 'fat' photo on the front door (inside...don't want to scare the postman!) so the last image I see is me looking abit ‘Jabba the Hut’ and therefore encouraging me to exercise BUT my hallway is incredibly dark and if I blink enough I can avoid looking at it entirely! So...not so great!

So what about the 'mental image' can I imagine what I’ll look like if I participate in the gym and actually lose some weight. Well, yes to a certain point. I've lost and gained the same 3 stone for the past 10 years so I know what I look like thinner and of course it’s better but for some reason, this time I'm finding that motivation harder and harder. Is this because now I'm in my early 30's (I know...I could pass for 21!! *cough*) and maybe just maybe I’m starting feel that it’s not all about how you look?

I need to do this for health reasons as much as vanity. I think as a younger dieter vanity played a much larger role in my desire to lose the lard. Do not misunderstand me, I would love nothing more than to breeze into Topshop and shout in a Julia Roberts style “big mistake.....HUGE!” about their inability to clothe me in my present condition but luckily I have Wallis, DP’s, NL and if it’s really bad....Marks and Sparks (not their classic collection I hasten to add!!). Actually after writing that....I have realised I do want to lose this weight to feel AND look better so vanity will be my friend....I shall embrace the shallowness of it all and get that ‘fat shot’ out and see if it helps.........Christ I need it.

So in conclusion as I fear I’m wittering....I’m lazy and vain........two of the best qualities known to man!! YEAY for me!

I will, once rid of the cold I’ve seemingly developed overnight get back on the wagon....get my sorry ass to the gym and start working that vanity (not actually in the gym of course where even Cleopatra would look a total dog) and emerge (hopeful after just one visit) a slim and beautiful being!

Onwards we go Pickles xx

The ‘Booze’ Issue

Things have been a little deficient on the exercise front this week........the only excuse I have is that one is a social butterfly and my people need me. *what a tool!*

M - was a delightful jaunt into Warwick for dinner and catch up.
T - my only free night and I get trapped at work, I got home around 9pm...perfect gym time!!
W - I was celebrating Queen T's birthday and I had to go drink wine (only one, driving) BTW she's amazing and she writes a very brilliant blog here read it...I command you!
T - I'm off to the glamorous surroundings of Daventry town visiting, chatting, gossiping. Huzzah!
F - the start of the weekend and I have the bint from the north descending on me....we're off to a uni reunion daaaawn saaaarf and I tell you now this will require le booze...but no wine, strictly old skool SU style cider!

On a serious note.....this boozing, it's got to stop. Almost every post I write is about my alcohol consumption and its only when I've written it down that I realise just how much of a government statistic I am. Hello my name is Kate and I’m a binge drinker.

I'm not a daily drinker by any means. I've probably drank more this week because of social engagements but it’s not usual....like next week for example, plan less (this means more time for't gym -  I WILL go!) but it’s the weekend excess that’s becoming more of a problem and only a problem for weight-loss...I mean, not my liver or anything...that’ll all be fine. I’m far more concerned with aesthetics...! I joke of course.

My plan is to have a dry November. October is crazy booked out so attempting a teetotal month is futile but November I have less alcohol related events to attend and this will be my control month. We’ll see what the total weight-loss over October is and compare to November and see how it differs. (my god....how scientific! *grabs lab coat and petri –dish*)

Obviously not drinking with boost any loss but will it be a significant amount enough to make me think that giving up the booze for good is the right thing to do. I mean this goes back to my original statement that this diet is for life and I needed to enjoy it right!?

So we’ll see.......in the mean time ‘cheers’!

Willcompletelyregretthisonsunday!!!

Anon pickles xx

Ahem *coughs* *whistles* and *whispers*....weigh in!!

Oh dear............2lbs on! Still, after the destruction of one’s body this weekend that is a bloomin miracle!

Still............back on board now and will be better next week! Brownie promises!

xx

Confessions!!

'Everything in moderation including moderation' said the wonderful, marvellous Julia Child and I have adhered to that motto ALL weekend.

I'm now sat wallowing in a sense of shame because I know when I step on those scales tomorrow morning I am not going to be happy with the result! I have four things to say........Damn my social life! (actually no....but for the purpose of this...bad social life!)

Ok Ok....let’s not get carried away with kicking oneself. Let’s just get it all out, get over it and move on.

It started with the wedding of my beautiful friends Sazzle and Hugh....and beautiful it was. A brief break in the torrential rain gave us the perfect wedding weather - we all had champagne to celebrate. The service went off without a hitch.....the vicar is an eccentric character typical of English village churches, slightly bonkers but also a delightful sense of humour as he suggested we all 'venture out to the churchyard and get to know each other', a wry smile and a slight eyebrow raise....I hope it wasn't just me that got the subtext of that one...Cheeky monkey!

Snap snap and the photos are done and we head off to the reception. Upon arrival we proceed straight for the wine and this....dear reader, this is where my resolve DISAPPEARS!!! We collect our drinks and set about catching up with friends, old and new, try to remain collected and look glamorous and by the time we're called into dinner we're 2 bottles down....good grief. (I have to add....it wasn’t just me drinking the wine, there were 2 other fools).

So we have the speeches....funny, a little emotional (the groom....could barely get his words out - sweet) and throughout we drink more champagne. We stand for about 45 toasts to the bride and groom, the bridesmaids and so on....more champagne. (I should also mention at this point....I am dreadful on champagne....we're talking REALLY drunk if I have too much! So far...I'm ok)

Dinner's next....it was a hot buffet so I'm thinking....this is good, I can pick carefully as low carb as poss. All the time pretending that alcohol is absolutely fine for weight loss!!

We get called through, we line up with our plates and I see it.......RICE, LASAGNE, POTATOES, FISHCAKES.....ok ok, no panic....I see salad. Salad I think..........this is not going to help me later when my entire system is awash with grape based drinks. So I opt for the fishcakes, salad and a small wholemeal roll (oh how I HEART bread).

Now..........as you are surely aware this is a pretty good choice only whilst we're having dinner I still seem to be drinking gallons of wine and by the time pudding comes around...........well frankly, all bets are off. Vanilla cheesecake with cream.....don't mind it I do.

The rest of the day passes in a haze of silly dancing and lots of laughing and .....more wine. When I finally get home I think....this is fine, I feel fine-ish, I will be fine....good night!

OH HOLY JESUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The mother of all hell had broken lose in my head. It was so horrifying I had to lie still and try not to breathe in case it made any part of my head move.

Problem 1 - my water glass had somehow moved from my bedside drawers to the kitchen which is MILES away....well it is when you’re on the brink of death from hangover! I knew I had to get to that kitchen and I need to get there soon. I crawled.......actually crawled through and finally found my saviour....which was about 49 litres of tap water. The first glass seemed to be soaked straight in my system via my tongue....as did glass 2, 3 and 4 but by glass 5 my mouth had seemingly found hydration again but the banging in my head was getting worse.

Problem 2 – NO PAINKILLERS!! Oh what fresh hell is this!??? As any Boots advert will tell you....all girls are prepared with pain killers but for some reason I was out....this only lead to one thing.......toast! It was medicinal and the only way I could see of getting vertical.

So I made toast...I made tea and headed for the sofa. I repeated this around lunchtime....cheese on toast this time and more tea.

I watched some appalling TV and then remembered....my car! It’s still at the bloody hotel....so I drag my sorry carcass to the shower...ring my partner in crime from the night before and we head off, hoping the influence of alcohol had worn off enough for the driving (I was ok...this was about 4pm).

I get home....having stopped off for some Pepsi Max and more carb therapy, get home and settle in for a night of Downton Abbey (hurrah), carb medication and self hatred!

I awoke this morning with something resembling a head back....only now I just felt sick from the sugar kicks and an over-whelming urgh to stand on the scales but NO....once a week, on a Tuesday is the scale action I’ll be getting.

I have spent today purifying.....water, water, water and a chicken salad for luncheon, dinner out tonight but without the booze the resolve will remain intact. Fingers crossed that tomorrow won’t be as hideous I think.

Things I have learnt this weekend.

1 – I have the best taste in drinking buddies
2 – Vino Blanco, Tinto and champagne do not make the best playmates
3 – Moderation is a word I do not understand.
4 – I will do it all again soon! (I never learn)

Anon Pickles xx

Bums......I Feel A Tad Urgh!

So Day 8 of my new diet....low carb if anyone's forgotten and I'm feeling distinctly grim.....! I do not do ill feelings or illness in fact. I prefer well, chirpy really not rotten in anyway so please go away urgh feeling.

I'm not feeling sick which I thought having hung out with McB at the weekend and the child bugs that she harbours I might have picked up her cold but no. I scoured the internet and after reading a few articles I'm informed that I'm having a 'carb crash'. Hell's teeth.....no one warned of any crashing, this was not part of the plan...how rude!

The theory is that it happens when your body’s glucose reserves (stored in the liver as glycogen – science bit!) are used up, but your body is not yet used to running on protein you begin to feel abit run down.

Symptoms include :

Shaky, jittery - No not me....isn’t this called alcohol withdrawal? (saying that...!)

Fatigue - Well yes but I stayed up watching Control on Film 4....I recommend, it’s a piece of genius! here

Irritable - I am at work remember!

A general feeling of 'not quite right' - Yeap,  that’s it....I feel odd, peculiar no less but nothing in particular, a bit of a headache since last night but just....what’s the word.......meh!

BUT the happy news is I am also informed that this will pass in a few days and if I persevere after Day 10 the fog will lift and I will feel stupendous (can't wait for that!)

So today I will mostly be trying to keep warm, drink tea and not be bothered by pesky boys. I shall dream of what it will be like to feel stupendous!! How exciting!

Anyhoo for now........anon pickles xx

P.S..I have 3 spots on my face....I NEVER get spots...I’m hoping this is part of the carb detox and not the onset of delayed teenaged acne *shakes fist at spots*
x

Week 1 - Result!!!!

And it was...................*inserts dramatic music*............6 whole pounds off......Hu-bloody-rah!!

A week of sensible eating and a trundle round some water and I ditch 6lbs of lardy lard. (yes, yes I know the science it's probably only water but....shhhh!)

That’s a good enough start for me peeps.

Here's to the next 6!

Have a great day....I'm off to eat my prawn salad and pump some gym iron (or cycle gently on a bike) for a few later!

Anon Pickles xx

Just Another Manic Monday.

Wait........its Monday? How the hecky peck did that happen? Where did my weekend go? Oh that’s right...in a haze of cakey loveliness!

It seems wrong that the first photos I post to a weight loss blog is a massive tower of cake but whatev's....and and and Oliver and I walked it off yesterday with our trek around the lovely wooded reservoir. (is it me or does that sound vaguely rude!?)

FYI....the cakes were amazeballs!

Had one of those great weekends when your with people you love and you just talk utter rubbish but it all makes sense. One of those, vent and be vented at. You can tell your secrets, your worries and happy happy news and at the end of the day you feel rosy and smug in your tremendous choice in friends. Yeay! My god how Enid Blyton of us...only it was lashings and lashings of tea!

Most (well, mine) weekends pass in an alcoholic smog where you breeze about doing your thing but sometimes you need to be brought back down to earth and have a good old chinwag with your old skool homies and I guess now I've started this diet I may have to stop/limit passing the weekend time in a boozy fog and see more of these girls. I mean, I don't want to, I have to...I joke, I joke. They are the best people for support, they encourage me to do more and to be better and it very clear to me that I'm the lucky one. I heart my homies!

Before this descends into a Hallmark movie script I'll stop on the over sentimentality and move on.

So manic Monday has been kind.......I've spent the entire day on my own, no boys to ruin and I've done loads of research and fact finding on the diet whilst actually working too....amazing multi-tasking skills going on here!

Interesting point - Loads of people give up carbs as a way of controlling their weight. Its seems the diet de jour for the glitterati that’s for sure and I’ve seen some of their bodies....does this mean I’m going to end this looking like JLo....oh ok!

So its weigh in day tomorrow. Hopefully Saturdays excesses haven't done too much damage, gym action in a bit too so that'll help........I'll post the result sometime tomorrow but before I skip off, heres a photo of the little dude during our trek.

Anon Pickles xx

Happy Weekend Peeps

Its Friday, thank little baby cheeses and I've had a great week, I hope you have too.

Started the blog, saw the girls and attended a Pampered Chef night last night which was brillski. I ordered some amazingly cool dotty glasses here and  I splashed out and brought a food chopper....what a devil! The diet's gone swimmingly. I feel really in control and positive which is a great start and frankly a precursor to the rest of this plan.

Exercise I have to admit has been rather lacking as I am a lazy bint but but but I have good excuses everyday for why I slacked off (only no one actually ask me).

This weekend is looking like a gem too.....afternoon tea with a few of my best bitches for a post, post hen hen for our Sazz and then the flicks. I do realise that afternoon tea generally consists of cake, cake, sandwiches, cake and some tea with cake but whatev.......it’s been organised forever and one has to live one’s life. I shall walk doubly fast on Sunday with Oliver. Promise!

So happy weekends and I'll see you next week for some hopefully interesting posts and the first 'weigh in' *dramatic music*

Anon Pickles xx

Today Tomorrow........Forever!

And so I embark on what I hope is my final jaunt into the world of dieting and self improvement. I have like many girls in the chubs category tried every diet under the sun and whilst some have been better than others and with a variable success rate I know in my heart of hearts healthy eating and exercise are they only way forward. (boo, hiss.......we all want crisps!). As the post title suggests, this is forever so it needs to be vaguely fun!

Now to start things off I will say what type of diet I’m going to follow but first can I say it’s called a ‘diet’ not eating plan. I don’t have any truck with that baloney that using the word ‘diet’ makes us lardies feel restricted and rebellious and hence causing us to cheat.....it’s a word like ‘fat’ let’s embrace them and use them as ours and not make the words our enemy. (too deep too early? Yuk!)

So back to the diet - In a word.....low carb! Not Atkins, there’s no overdosing on half cow’s, parmesan wheels and double cream it’s just reducing my intake of processed carbohydrates and sticking to the good ones, brown rice for example.

I have a bit of a gluten intolerance, nothing that makes me get comedy fat face allergies just a wee one so I cut out bread and pasta and I lost a few pounds and having cut out all carbs before I know that I lose weight but it’s not sustainable with one’s lifestyle. You know...friends, dinner out, beer, well in fact ALL alcohol so I thought. ‘how about cut carbs when I’m making the choices, the everyday diet and then when I’m out not worry about it.’ I think this is the healthiest way of doing things, emotionally more than anything else as I know only too well that my social life is a killer to diets as I get the guilt, it spirals and I flip out (issues anyone!?). Anyhoo...I’d rather be fat than bored, at home with lettuce and dust!

So its lean meat, fish, veggies, fruits (within reason, I love fruit and I know about the sugar but a blueberry is NOT why I’m fat!) and low fat dairy. It’s pretty simple really and my main plan is proper cooking, from scratch, none of this convenience malarkey and no ‘oh I’ll just have toast and a vat of vino tint for dinner’.

So we broach the thorny topic of exercise. Urgh, the hateful brute! You know I don’t hate exercise I hate sweating.....oh sweet Jesus I hate it. I arrive at the gym, I go bright red walking through the door, I sit on the bike, plug my headphones in, I’m sweating....I’ve not even put my bright white (read : new/unused) trainered foot on the pedal and I’ve got a roast on! FFS!! This is actually because my gym has a major aversion to air con, the fecking morons! (and I pay to go!). So baring this in mind I’m putting my distaste aside and I’m going to MAKE myself go every day. Obviously if I’m out with the bitches for the eve the gym can go F itself but like the diet. I’ll do it more than not.

Weekends are a different matter. Gyms are soul devouring at the best of times and I refuse to spend my S-days there so the plan involves a little dude that loves, nay relishes a long walk and that’s what I’ll be doing. The little dude is called Oliver and he belongs to the parentals and I plan to dognap him....he LOVES it! There’s plenty of walks round Bumpkin shire where I live so I’m going exploring!

So this is it.............I think I’ve stumbled upon a winning formula (fingers, toes, arms, legs, eyes crossed and all that). I plan to enjoy this process as much as I can, it’s the 80/20 format.....80% on it, 20% FUN TIMES and I think this is the sustainable and long-term way to go.

Day 2....5lbs down! HELL YEAH! (I won’t be doing that every post....just once a week)

Anon Pickles xx

Hello to you there in cyberland

Well howdy, hey, hi, easy now peeps and welcome.

This is my first foray into the world of blogging. I apologise in advance for my ramblings. I'm sure they will be at best mildly comical and at worst nonsensical!

I decided to write this as a diary, a disposition venter really. I have tremendous friends who just don't need to hear it all so you dear reader are my sounding board. It's going to be about my road to fabulosity....not that I'm not already a little bit fab just I know I could do better.

So its diet, exercise, style and hopefully funnies. It's probably not going to have a method it will just be thoughts on my mind or excellent things I’ve seen.

So.....I will go away and think long and hard about this and come back with something resembling a proper start!

Anon pickles xx