Oh PMA works!!!

I did it...I lost 2lbs making it 8lb in total and that’s a lovely shiny half a stone lost!

Now.......I'm away in the frozen north this weekend on a hen weekend, which as we all know involves muchos booze and frivolity BUT considering the current weather patterns destroying our country I'm pretty sure I'll shiver off any extra calories. Still...if not I'll not beat myself up about, I'll put it down to a life lived properly! Hurrah.

Well........short post but my fingers are about to snap off in frozen agony!

Till next time pickles

xx

The Story of ‘Staying the Same’

The morale of today’s tale is ....try as you might ye shall fail (sometimes) BUT do not give up! Check me out...how positive but I can assure you this is NOT how I felt last night after week 3’s weigh in....the main reaction was ‘BUMS’!

So after a week of pretty much by the book dieting the grand result was.....nothing not a tiny ounce was lost. Yes, yes I know, nothing gained either but what a bloody ball ache. I was abstemious not a drop of alcohol passed my lips, food wise it was all angelic BUT and I’m going to whisper this...I didn’t make it to the gym once but we did do very vigorous shopping, well wandering around Blue Water!

The dreadful truth is dawning....if I want to shift four tonnes of lard I am going to having to get my groove on at the gym. This makes me want to cry a thousand tears and hid in a cupboard but I’m going to have to get a bloomin grip and bite the bullet.

There is a lady in my FC class who has lost 7 STONE in about 18 months...how insane is that and she did it with the addition of exercise so what more of an inspiration do I need...she’s right there in front of my eyes.

Maybe I need to picture her (not in a weird, creepy, stalky kind of way of course!) when I start to talk myself out of the gym. She said last night never in her wildest dreams would she have ever thought she’d have lost 7 stone and that’s sort of how I feel...I can’t even imagine it at the moment...it’s the mental equivalent of climbing Kilimanjaro but she has an answer for that....break it down into half stones, that’s 7lbs, I have 1lb to go for my first 7lbs so I will try and do that for next weigh in and then so on and on and on.......!

Last night I was totally in the buggerations mood, today though...I feel ok. The 7lbs thing has sorta struck a chord.

Well onwards and downwards Pickles xx

Week 2 - A Bit Meh!

Week 2 – 1lbs loss

The problemo is I wasn’t that thrilled with this. I know I know better off than on but I have 84 of them to lose and I’d like to lose most of them before the beginning of June, that’s in 26 weeks! To lose that much I need to average 3.2lbs a week and knowing my losing history that ain’t gonna happen peeps.

Ok, ok so I totally just flipped about the amount and the timescale and I think I need to readdress this SO.....what if I halve it. 26 weeks to lose 42lbs. That would be an average weight loss of 1.6lbs a week.....far more doable I think.

So 42 lbs that’s 3 three stone. That’s a lot, a vey lot and I would look 5000% times better in the bridesmaid dress, I’d feel great (obviously not as great as if I’d got my groove on earlier and then maybe I could be further down the journey but bygones!) and I realise half the battle of weight loss is the feeling you get when you achieve what you want.

Now I know that the first weeks loss will always be big...all about diet change and water loss (sciencey bits) etc. I had a very similar week to the first one, with the exception of a Saturday night out on the tiles, where I was practically angelic! I don’t think I’ve ever gone out and had three G & T’s the whole night in my life and the T’s were slim line at that. I was really conscious of not drinking too much, I actually achieved something I set out to do, space out the booze with water. I actually did it and the world did not collapse, I didn’t spontaneously combust from gin withdrawal, it was all ok. AND no hangover....praise be too little baby cheeses. So on the next drinking occasion I shall think along these lines and attempt the strategy and see how I fare....Ah wait, the next drinking occasion is a hen weekend.....MAYBE NOT!

I think that week one loss was mostly water and this week it’s actual fat....this is a good thing, this is how I need to look at it.

There is of course the elephant in the room............EXERCISE. Seriously, as the worlds laziest bint I really need to sort this out. Does walking round and round an enormous shopping centre on sat count as exercise?? That is totally the kind of exercise I can get on board with but I fear not. God damn it!

I will I will I will address this peeps.........I WILL!

Anyhoo....38 days to Christmas, I’ve hugely over-excited already...such a Christmas pusher!

And on that really annoying note....anon until next time Pickles x

The 1st Result

So week 1 back at fat club and it was a success. 5lbs off......45 gazillion to go!

There is something about being on a structured plan that I like, well when I say structured it’s in the loosest sense of the term, i.e. don't eat crap, don’t drink like a fish and generally you should lose. I think as a character I'm quite into routine, I like to know what I'm doing, I like a plan, I like (horror of horrors) a list and the FC diet fits into this category perfectly. There are lists of free food, lists of things to count and I get to write a list of what I plan to cook every day. This serves 3 purposes.

1.      Keeps me on track, what day is what

2.      Makes the weekly shop easy and cheaper (no sneaking in the ‘oh a really fancy that!’ things...unless its nail varnish or a book of course)

3.      Facilitates my need for control (maybe I really should talk to someone about this!?)

I also haven’t exactly stuck to the low carb thing either, I AM A LIAR AND A CHEAT AND NO ONE SHOULD READ THIS! I keep changing my story huh BUT in ones defence I’m trying my damnedest to lose this bloody weight, it’s an ongoing battle and if I find different ways of doing each week I’ll do it. The main point is as long as I lose weight.  I have a sneaking suspicion, garnered from years of dieting that low carbing is actually better for maintaining the loss, still on FC plan low carbing is an option so we shall see....don’t say I didn’t warn you about modification of mind. WAIT...this shouldn’t not compute within my ‘I like a plan’ lifestyle but whatev’s I’m a girl and it’s my prerogative (word up Bobby Brown) to change my mind!

This week is also the first weekend of a consecutive weekend party fest until Christmas. I am determined NOT to upset next week’s loss from one night’s drinking. I will stick to gin and slim-line, space it out with water and eat properly so I don’t get the marmite toast munchies at 2am. Up early(ish) on Sunday to take Oliver for a stroll and blow the alcohol webs away.

Anyway one’s mind set is positive and I hope this is the start of the decline (in weight and not mental health of course!)

Anon for now Picklets! xx

Day 1 (Again)

So last night I rejoined Slimming World...hence forth to be known as fat club or FC

I'm still going to proceed with the lower carb thing and luckily FC has a plan to allow that but mainly I need the structure of the weekly weigh in to get me back in the zone and keep me on track.

This is the first positive thing I've done in weeks (with regards to weight loss of course...I brought a new woolly cardi on Sat, that’s very positive!). As I drove home I felt lighter, less stressy about it and that in itself felt great.

I won't go into to the trauma that was the scales, safe to say I almost cried but I managed to control myself, nothing more unattractive than a chubs weeping, snotty, covered in mascara...ooof! It’s not a pretty picture anyway you look at it so I shall just say...this is the fattest I will ever be and do not intent on being here ever again.

So, when I escape from work, home I go to cook a Quorn chilli and some mushroom soup for lunch and will keep my podgy hand out of the biscuit tin. I HAVE to do this....HAVE to and I will.....8 months until one is a bridesmaid (for the 5^th time....always a bridesmaid...sob sob!) and I plan on not being the fattest member of the wedding party....only saying that, I will but I will be the slimmest fattest member...if you know what I mean! :-)

Anon for now lovelies xx

Still Here But Hiding

I can't write and talk about weight loss as I seem to have a mental block to both.

I've not written a jot since my last post as I think I'm still trying to get what I said right in my mind....what a massive drama queen...YES but all jokes aside I'm really, really struggling to get this started.

I have decided to start a walking challenge, I found it on the interweb whilst browsing weight loss (no not surgery or speed) and thought it might be a good place to start. It seems relatively innocuous (not too much effort, remember the lazy thing!). Starts off with a few 20min walks and increases as fitness increases.....I think even for the benefit of my mind, being outside for 20mins at least just walking will be valuable.....clear out all the crap from the day.

So I will keep trying to get a grip on myself and I will post properly once I’ve got it!

In the meantime these things are good....listen/read/buy them

Its FREE
The LOVELY Stephen
Joyous
I'm going to see her in Feb!! Woohoo
This WILL make your life better

Anyhoo....anon for now and I'll speak soon
xx

The 'Stakes'

So here’s the thing! I’m feeling an abject failure at my inability to lose weight and it’s not like I’ve only got a stone to lose...try 5. This should be relatively easy right. Sensible eating and exercise should do this. Only it’s not as easy, if it was there wouldn’t any fatties and we wouldn’t be having this discussion.

There is a load of head stuff going on that prevents, nay stops weight loss when it comes to me (actually a lot of overweight people will tell you there’s more going on that simply just eating too much). The only problem I have is that I don’t know what it is...the head stuff I mean.

I had an idyllic childhood, my parents were and still are the best people in the world, they have loved and supported me no matter what, they have never made me feel like I was anything but amazing. I grew up in a happy household, never had too much or too little, a village life that was straight from the pages of Enid Blyton. I had lots of friends, most of which I’m still friends with now...never bullied for being on the porky side, in fact I’ve never knowingly had any negativity towards me because of my weight (of course what said behind ones back....who cares!) but I still have this HUGE issue about weight. It’s painful to admit but it held me back from so much and still does.

I read somewhere that it helps to write down what you want from weight loss (a bit like the mental image from my last post) so I have thought about this for a few days and collected some thoughts together and prepared my ‘stakes’. Some are no brainers, some were more difficult to think about but I have to be honest about it. Writing this down makes it more real as opposed to just my mental thoughts in my head.

So here goes:

·         I want to be happy with photos taken of me. I spend 95% of my time untagging myself from FB photos (vain vain I know!)

·         I want to never worry about chairs with arms & airline belts

·         I would like to be able to put on tights without blacking out from the excursion! (This is pretty comic really, hoping round the bedroom on one leg....trapped!)

·         Three words – KNEE HIGH BOOTS, if only I could find some that fit my massive claves but tiny, tiny feet!

·         Another word  - Jeans. I want to look good in jeans, to be able to buy a pair that suits rather than ‘just fits’

·         I want to be in control of food

·         I want to stop feeling like a FAT person first and ME second in every situation

·         I want to stop walking past a shop window and thinking ‘blimey, hello lardy’ and realising its me – DOOM!

·         I want to improve my health and not to have a heart rate of 120 when all I’ve done is unloaded the washing machine (ok, slight exaggeration!)

·         I want to be confident – Not the fakey confidence I currently hide behind

·         (Arrgh hard one!) I want to start a new relationship. Single for 4 years since I was last slimmer in fact. I have become invisible!

·         Finally I want to stop thinking about being fat and losing weight constantly and kicking myself in the head when I fail!

Ok, so not pretty and I really think this stuff. Hideous....like I said, I have no idea where the self loathing comes from?

Still trying to get back on the diet track, the cold hasn’t helped but I know I REALLY want to do this.

Having dinner with the girls on Saturday eve. Main topic of conversation will be the upcoming wedding for L for whom I’m a bridesmaid. She has just announced her intention of a tone up (lucky cow.....not as if she even needs it! Ha) so I will fall on her mercy and suggest we do something together, I think I need an exercise director and she’s nothing if not pushy that one! The beast!!

Anyway......I have a half day so I’m off. Have a great weekend Pickles and sorry for the lack of funnies here. I just need to get it down.

xx